Are You Wondering What Happened to Happily Ever After?
Do you feel like your marriage is causing more pain than joy?
Are you and your spouse stuck in ruts and cycles and damaging patterns?
Are you concerned that your children are suffering because of constant fighting and uncertainty?
Is your marriage full of blame, walls, and tears?
Are threats of walking out, never coming back, or divorce becoming more frequent?
Are you feeling hopeless and helpless?
If statements like these describe your marriage, don’t give up. If your plans and dreams for a fairy tale marriage have fallen horribly short, you are not alone. If you have all but given up, there is help.
Marriage is Hard
We probably don’t need to tell you that marriage is hard work. It’s hard because of the differences between men and women. We communicate differently, listen for different things, and we have male and female needs and wants. These differences either draw us together or tear us apart.
It’s hard because we each have individual hopes, dreams, and expectations – both spoken and not. From the time we were little girls and boys we’ve been told that marriage will “complete us” and we’ll live happily ever after. Then we wake up one morning thinking, “is this all there is?” and, “why is this so _______ difficult all the time?”
And it’s hard because of the seasons and changes of life. Children bring exceeding joy but they can turn two people in love into two neglected spouses. Other couples struggle to survive after the kids have moved out. Job changes, financial stress, extended family issues, and a host of other things also cause tremendous stress on marriages.
Yet despite all these challenges, marriage for a lifetime is the goal. And it is hard work.
“Steve and Jill have been there for me and my wife more times than I would like to admit. Their genuine care for people is part of what makes their advice so sound. The practical steps they encouraged us to take have transformed our marriage as well as our individual lives.” – J and J
We’ve Been There
We almost lost our marriage around year seven. The details don’t matter except to say that we faced everything you’re wondering if we faced. We were hurt, shocked, confused and scared. Yet we successfully fought back.
Rebuilding a totally wrecked marriage can be done. And while we wouldn’t wish our pain on anyone we wouldn’t trade what we’ve learned.
We’ve learned that there will be fights even in the most healthy of marriages. Marriage is one of the hardest things you will ever do because it depends on two individuals successfully navigating life. Together.
We’ve learned that marriage is worth fighting for. Not only is it the cornerstone of society, but successful marriages are crucial support for everyone involved – wives and husbands first. We believe there’s nothing more worthy of a fight than your marriage.
We’ve learned how to fight well and fight early. In other words, we’ve learned to communicate – and listen – about the small things before they can become big things. We’ve also learned how to respect and use our differences for our marriage. What we once fought in each other we now see as strengths to be used for our benefit.
Most importantly, we’ve learned how to counsel couples to happy, healthy, and rewarding marriages. We not only have our personal story, but professional experience and training, too. We know how to share what we’ve learned in ways that work.
NOTE: Allow us to clarify one thing before going on: we are NOT advocating fighting for the sake of fighting. Nor are we supporting abuse of any kind. Verbal, mental, and physical abuse is exactly that: abuse. If such abuse is present in your marriage (or any relationships) please, please protect yourself and your children appropriately.
What to Expect
To prepare for your first appointment, we’ll send you Client Information and Intake forms for you and your spouse. Please fill them out completely and bring them with you to the first session.
All our sessions are between 75 and 90 minutes each – twice as long as most counselors meet. The extra time creates a more relaxed and beneficial time together.
When we meet for the first time, we’ll get to know one another and discuss your current issues and challenges. We’ll also have you both take a temperament profile assessment.
During our second session, we will discuss your temperament assessment results. You will both gain tremendous insight into the inner workings of each other and your relationship.
With this understanding of temperaments in mind, we’ll spend the remaining sessions giving you tools to help you as individuals and as a couple. We’ll explore communication, relationship, and boundary issues from all sides. This will help you both recognize lies and truth in yourself and in your relationship. You’ll learn how to defeat the lies and build on the truths together.
What Next?
When you are ready to begin or if you have more questions, contact us at 615-476-6698 (Jill) or 615-210-9729 (Steve), info@erchomaicounseling.com, or use the contact form at the bottom of this page. We’ll find a date and time to meet and send you the forms we mentioned earlier.
There is hope for your marriage. We felt hopeless once, too. We not only found a way back to the love we once had, but to a deeper and better relationship that continues to grow.
We look forward to helping you and your spouse build your growing marriage, too.
Steve and Jill have spent most of the married lives counseling and mentoring couples 
about the challenges, benefits, and victories of marriage. Jill has a Doctorate in Christian Counseling, is trained in EMDR Therapy, and is Advanced Certified in Cognitive Therapy and Temperament Counseling. Steve is a certified Life Coach and Temperament Counselor. They are both Ordained Pastors.
They have been married for over 35 years and 33 of them have been happy. They’ve learned how to fight back from disaster and how to share what they’ve learned. They have two married children with terrific spouses and live in Smyrna, TN.